PORTUGAL – MIDDLE OF NOWHERE

I’m in Portugal.

In the mountains.

No, I probably haven’t responded to your email as I’m on holiday.

In particular, if you’re messaging from a country far away from where I work with an essay asking how I would build you a gun with a complete breakdown of parts so that you can buy them & do it yourself whilst being very pushy because you didn’t get a response within 30 minutes – I’m not a 90’s pizza delivery service.

Even better when you start with “I know you’re on holiday but…”

Fuck all here, limited signal, no WiFi, the TV has an aerial on top & can receive four channels.

At night you can hear wolves…

So if I’m not responding…. it’s because I’m on holiday & any emails or messages I do answer are where existing customers have questions about tracking info and need my help.

Ho-li-day!

It’s the same as me calling you at your house asking the price of the fries you serve or asking when your mother will be performing again.