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Pretty simply I would have thought but hey how, here we go.

Question 1 “how much to upgrade my gun?”

Answer: Yes.

Question 2 “I want better accuracy, range, power, response – can I have an exact quote.

Answer: No.

Question 3 “My gun is at another tech & he can’t do it, will you help him how to do it?”

Answer: Go fuck yourself, you’re asking me to work for free so that some clueless knuckledragger at a surplus store can make some cash. Deep & hard sir, deep & hard

Question 4 “I know you’re UK only and I’m in *another country* but I need to send you something and you need to make it to a spec that is illegal in your country…”

Answer: Your mum made me breakfast this morning..

And finally, Question 5 “I purchased a gun you built 7 years ago, I’m the fourth owner, it’s been taken apart a few times, do you remember what you did to it & will you service it for free?”

Answer: Yeah sure bro, because I’m a genius savant! I remember every last detail – hang on, I’ll put a brew on & you get a pen…

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